20091017
Feeling low



There're too many things in my head which I wanna say.. My thoughts are all jammed up, with one squashed right beside the other, and another stacked right on top of another. My minds in a mess, and it has never been calm for a long time.

I know what I want, but I seldom find the courage and strength to pursue my true interests. I can't seem to be satisfied with what I have, and I'm always hoping for time to pass me by. Yes, once time has passed I'll start to look back, and wish that I'd have lived my moments slower, and hope that I'd have treasured the things I had before.

I've found many things during my time in the Army. I've found a whole band of new friends, people who're just people like me, people who have weaknesses and are humanly vulnerable. I have started to explore the more sentimental side of myself, as my regular absence from home led me to realise just how important family is.

In many aspects, I've pretty much sobered up, and yet there is still this one regret which keeps coming back into my thoughts.

These things are stuck in my mind, I just can't seem to say what I really want to say.

I just can't do it.


20091016
My life in retrospect



And one day when you wake up, she'll be home.

My life has been blooming from below the rubble and debris. I have finally found a new life, and I've found a balance from the old. Army has changed my perspective of things time and again, having been put through physical hardship, psychological challenges unheard of in my cosy bubble.

I have grown, but yet I am still the same. How should I put it, life is getting simpler, and yet more complex at the same time.

I just hope that I'll have the strength to meet with the daunting obstacles which are going to come my way.


20090918
It's true.



I indeed am too much of an idealist.


20090822
Maybe theres no way to reach me



Its been ages since you've returned. I thought you were gone for good until today. I should have known that you'll never leave, you're always there. You're someone I'll have to live with for a long time.

I just don't understand you. I don't understand why you have to do this to me. Are you a reminder, or are you just having some sadistic fun?

Its just that you always stumble me, and I am paralysed by you.

Question is, are you even real?


 Tianyong
20 Years of Age and still dying.
Just put up with this nonsense in this space until I either die or the internet becomes a devention.