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Do you know how it is like to live?



Do you know how it is like to live?

To exist on a plane higher than that of being physically operating, to have a sense of purpose and doing, to have a sense of reason for existing. It is the feeling and the truth of knowing that we are not just living in flesh, but also doing so for a purpose which encompasses outside of our own security and safety. If we can learn to live beyond mere bodily sustenance, we would experience a life which not only is breathtaking, but also ethereal and timeless.

It would feel as though we belong to a part of a global thing, a universal thing, and the fact that we are so small would feel more gratifying than demoralising.

Because in fact, we are so small, and insignificant. We are so small and helpless by ourselves. We are nothing if not for our collective numbers and our will as a race to make something out of what we're given. But should we resign and give up and not try to strive just because of our physical minuteness?

Our minds, our minds, our inner world. Some of us have absolutely nothing in their inner world; we spent our lives indulging entirely in the physical world, taking each day as it goes, not giving a thought about anything beyond our horizontal reach. Whereas, there is a another group of people who see themselves as aliens to this world, who often reject (and if undisguised, will too be rejected) the world and all its doings.

Sometimes things just seem so hopeless and bleak that I get tempted to withdraw myself into my own world and return to that rich land, where I can go wild and be myself. There are just so many crazy things inside which I've neglected as I spent my time in the real world, things which accompanied with through my afternoons when I was a boy, things which caused me to be amazed for hours and go non stop, around in circles and be astonished again. The beautiful things which made my childhood, the drawings, the games which I made for myself to play with myself, which didn't really matter if other people understood.

I never told them about it anyway, the idea had never crossed my mind.

And with my growing I started to put aside these things, and was introduced to adult things like work and responsibility. The world started to tell me that it was about time to give up on these things, to stop playing and face the facts, the cold hard truth that money is important and if I don't do anything about it my family will die.

I still dream, about my past, but I know that the truth is as real as it can get,and this beautiful place will not be visited until I can do something about the real world.

I miss that world. I miss that dome where I was in every afternoon till the evening, where I played and frolicked, where things were much simpler, and nicer, and warmer, where the sun poured all over me and I get that warm feeling of nostalgia of a familiar place.

I miss those days..

I miss the days of my childhood.

I don't want to let that feeling go.

My body is warm and well fed but my soul is so empty and cold.


 Tianyong
20 years old.
The time will come soon.