20090227
It's coming



The situation seems like it's hard pressed for time.. With so many loose ends yet to be tied up, with so many things left vague and unmaterialised, one cannot help but wonder if its really going to turn out fine.

And I also wonder just how long my body can put up with all my rubbish. I wonder how long I am able to hold out, with all that damage from sleepless nights and sheer negligence. The guilt always sets in after I compromise a bit more, and the guilt always dissipates when I need just that tad more to get me there.

When I look back, all those little-bit-mores have summed up to quite an avalanche. This doesn't look good.

So I am writing this here now, not for the purpose for all to see, but for the cause of having written something to myself, to tell myself that this idleness and sloth has got to stop for now, and I got to get it together once again, to finish this up nicely. It can't come to naught now, all the fire I've been put through.

I have to finish this up nicely. I can't leave it undone, unsettled, all over the place. I've got to finish this. No matter how weary I feel, or how heavy my steps and my head, giving in isn't an option.

Snap out of it!

//this bravado has led me to think that my cause is immaculate, and there is an impish entity at the back of my mind, instigating, instigating me to just tear it all down.


 Tianyong
20 years old.
The time will come soon.