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two planes



There are two alternate modes of consciousness I am able to exist in.

The first dimension of consciousness is in the real world in its entirety, in its reality, and in it's presence. Not much heed is paid to the past and the future. My mind focuses on what needs to be achieved at the present moment, and my mind does not question, and I proceed on to do my task. I exist in this mode when I'm introduced to a new environment, when the rest of my mind is preoccupied with trying to figure out the quirks of the task, the environment of which the task is carried out, the archetypes of people present in the field, and of course the social hierarchy within the set group of people.

After the foundational data has been set, the majority usage of my mind settles away and a small portion continues to absorb data continuously, archiving daily happenings and thus performing live updates and modifications to the social model.

With extended periods of time beyond a month, the unused portions of my mind begin to drag my entire self into my alternate mode of consciousness. I believe this to be the greater of two modes, but functioning and existing on this plane will result in many harmful side effects.

My alternate mode resides in my inner self, where chaos and anarchy prevail. It is a fiery wasteland, strewn with corpses and overflowing with boiling magma. It is volatile and unpredictable, and it is destructive. It causes my physical shell to stop functioning almost entirely, as it consumes vast amounts of energy. It leaves me paralysed, unable to do anything significant in the material world, and it overwhelms me with blindness, causing me to be unable to see anything positive and constructive.

It is a beast, seeking to devour and destroy, and it seeks out information in this world. It absorbs, at staggering rates, data, analogies, abstract ideas, reshuffles memories, reorganises thoughts and reassembles my shelves. It is a painful process, it is a terrible process, but I know what this mode is trying to do. It is reforming me, clearing up messes while my physical self is rendered immobile.

When I finally claw out of the alternate mode, be it by internal force, or by environmental force, I snap back to reality, and focus on my present moment. I take in all which is around me, and I chance upon a new sight, a new place, a new me.


 Tianyong
20 years old.
The time will come soon.