20090703
Boy put through fire.



There is still this steely tinge lingering in my heart as I attempt to type this post. Thing is, the very first thing that greeted me when I reached home after bookout today was a suicide scene. The area was already sealed off by the police when I cam but it seemed so dreamy and surreal as I passed the scene. When the gravity of the situation finally set onto me, I felt a feeling I've never felt in my entire life.

I can say this cold gripping feeling is the closest thing to death I've ever felt. And I wonder how some brave men actually laughed in the face of death.

Life in the army has taught me many things, and not all things are taught by the army. Its just these things which I've come to experience which are totally new to me. All of a sudden I feel as though life is being relived all over again, starting from scratch, from the stumbling initial steps of discovery. I never could have imagined that my body could survive the training thus far. Its weird how i'm glad that all this is happening to me.

It feels as though I'm finally achieving something substantial, something I can be happy about, something tangible and of course, something physical. It's true that at the end of the day, everyday, I find myself at a new level of exhaustion, but hey, as long as there is breath in me, I am going to set a new level for myself. This truly is satisfying.

Every day, I find myself humbled in new ways I've never discovered before.


 Tianyong
20 years old.
The time will come soon.