20100220
Raise the blade



I've delivered the payload, but my mind is nowhere near unsettled. I'm up against these giants, and I've nothing to put up a fight with. I'm bare naked, I never thought I would post this in a place such as this but I really feel vulnerable, with nothing to hold on to. It is times like these when I really second guess myself. I don't know how am I going to accept the news of my rejection.

But then again, what kind of a surprise would it be, as it wouldn't be the first time I got slapped hard in the face? People would tell me that at least I've gave it my all, put in my best, y'know, the usual, that I've fought the good fight at the very least.

Then again, what good would it be if my very best is not even worth a pinch of salt? I don't know anymore; my sense of self worth has been cast to the swine time and again, I don't believe in myself anymore.

What am I to do? Get drunk? Get wasted? I'm sick of even that.


 Tianyong
20 years old.
The time will come soon.