20100425
Deep inside,



I am still harbouring anger and resentment. I still am angry with them for not giving me enough time, for shocking me suddenly and not letting me adjust. I am still angry with them for being so merciless and cruel, for being too fast. I couldn't keep up quick enough, and I didn't understand anything back then. I only did what I could do, I didn't know what to do. I was totally broken off with nothing to hold on to, and I was expected to make do. Now the parts of me lay scattered and fragmented, I am holding shards from all over. I still do not know how to piece them together, and all I'm bearing is a mess of disarray.

And yet with this mess I made a cadaver, living dead, something which is not alive yet moving.

All that I made was nothing, but a beautiful mask.


 Tianyong
20 years old.
The time will come soon.